In many Muslim cultures, when you want to ask them how they’re doing, you ask: in Arabic, Kayf haal-ik? or, in Persian, Haal-e shomaa chetoreh? How is your haal?
What is this haal that you inquire about? It is the transient state of one’s heart. In reality, we ask, “How is your heart doing at this very moment, at this breath?” When I ask, “How are you?” that is really what I want to know.
In Leadership there are few things more powerful than giving people your full attention and truly seeing them. It can be as simple and fleeting as giving a flight attendant eye contact as you say goodbye as you disembark, or addressing a barista by the name on their name tag as you thank them for your morning coffee.
As a coach, sounding board, facilitator, I believe in and practice “Deep Listening” truly being absolutely present at all levels for others.
I therefore adore this term “haal” and Omid’s expression of it as a greeting of real care.
Omid writes beautifully, and continues :
I am not asking how many items are on your to-do list, nor asking how many items are in your inbox. I want to know how your heart is doing, at this very moment. Tell me. Tell me your heart is joyous, tell me your heart is aching, tell me your heart is sad, tell me your heart craves a human touch. Examine your own heart, explore your soul, and then tell me something about your heart and your soul.
Tell me you remember you are still a human being, not just a human doing. Tell me you’re more than just a machine, checking off items from your to-do list. Have that conversation, that glance, that touch. Be a healing conversation, one filled with grace and presence.
Put your hand on my arm, look me in the eye, and connect with me for one second. Tell me something about your heart, and awaken my heart. Help me remember that I too am a full and complete human being, a human being who also craves a human touch.
My own articles on this site on related themes are too numerous now to list here, but do search on this page around themes such as “Being, not Doing”, “Stop the Busyness” “Being without agenda” and tags such as Silence, Ikigai, Presence.
*Many thanks to Christine Sperber of the Modern Elder Academy for sharing this article. More on “MEA” to come on this site, as I am excited to be part of the “Beta”. For now, to find more about Modern Elder, search articles on this site for “Chip Conley”
This wonderful quote reminds us to look up at the stars and to be curious.
He also encourages us to “make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exists”. Indeed, it would seem that this was what drove Hawking to stay with us as long as he did, despite facing such amazing physical adversity.
However, sometimes I wonder if we seek to find answers too much and sometime lose touch with our ability to be present to the moments ?
I write on this site about leadership, and so much of that is about being truly present.
I often tell people that I no longer believe in coincidence, I believe in flow.
So, let me pull all of this together. On March 14th I found myself invited to a special dinner at the Tower of London, which finished with experiencing the “ceremony of the keys”, which has taken place every night, without fail, since 1280AD.
It was a beautiful late winter evening, crisp air and not too cold.
Before the ceremony I had been talking to another guest, who, like me, had a lot of history in the tourism industry. This particular evening was about heritage and we both revelled in the moment, soaking it all up.
As the evening then finished, we were both heading in the same direction to a tube station, and I mentioned that on that morning I had seen a photo on social media taken at a tube station with a quote from Stephen Hawking, who had died that morning. We both noted how wonderful it is that tube staff are trusted and empowered to express themselves this way, and I noted that I’d written about this recently (see : “A Trust Story : The Journey is the Destination“).
A few minutes later, we waked into the Tower Hill tube station, and what did we see before us ? The sign that the picture above had been taken of.
#Flow, not coincidence.
Oh, and 14th March is not only “Pi Day” (3.14), but also Einstein’s Birthday.
Be curious.. AND take time to look up at the stars, be present, take joy in the moments and in being in #Flow.
I ask you to start with that first blog, then come back to today’s. Oh, and if you simply search the term “Ikigai” in the search bar on this page you will see several articles, some of my favourites in there from my early days of writing on this site.
I’m coming back to this after several months as I find the concept of Ikigai coming up in conversation a lot, so today to recap the five pillars, as Ken Moji states them :
Harmony and sustainability
The joy of little things
Being in the here and now
In prior articles I wrote about the “joy of little things”, as well as quite a number about “being in the here and now” (or simply “Presence”), and also “Starting small”
Let me talk a little today about “releasing yourself”, which is very much related to “being in the here and now”.
When we are being in the here and now, we can start small, take joy in the small things, and then, ultimately, release ourselves from, as Moji, puts it, the burden of the self.
Tne other day I found myself in the centre of a large park in London, sitting in a bench talking with someone. It was a truly transcendent moment, and in fact we both remarked on the fact that we felt time was “bent” in that space, it was moving more slowly. The children and dogs playing were also calm and relaxed, more so even than usual.
Now, as we’d walked to that place, we’d been deeply appreciative of what Moji calls the “sensory pleasures”, of the blossom on the tree, of the crispness of the “end of winter” day, of the simple enjoyment of an engaged and lively conversation. Moji connects the “infinite universe of sensory pleasures” as deeply linked to “releasing yourself”.
How does this relate to the overarching theme of this site being Leadership, you may ask ? Well, great leaders are calm, centred, present, and also very often “in Flow”. I am fascinated by the #Flow state, and encourage you to read my post on this : “Flow – Michael Jordan and Jason Silva“, which includes a link to the legendary TED talk on flow by Mikhail Csikszentmihalyi.
Find your Ikigai, find #Flow. Enjoy the moments, stop to observe the coming of spring, as I did a few days ago in Edinburgh…..
“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” ~ Steve Jobs, (2005)
“Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day. … The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.” ~ Seneca, (approximately 2000 years ago) (more…)
This morning I write this overlooking a beautiful and quiet garden on a winter’s day in the Scottish Highlands. I am visiting friends and they have gone out for a while and I sit here in solitude and stillness.
We have so much information in the world, so much for our brains to process, so many decisions to make on a daily basis. With technology we can also be more and more efficient and so cram more and more into our time.
I too find it so easy to be busy, to fill my time, yet there is real power in having the discipline to consciously make time for solitude.
Solitude is a state of mind, where one can be present to oneself, without distraction. Where we create such a space, we can turn off the “monkey mind” and then solutions to anything we seek will present themselves.
One need not take off hundreds of miles for this, sometimes it is sufficient to just turn off the electronic stimulation and pick up a book, or to listen to music with your eyes closed, or to leave everything behind (including that smartphone) and go for a walk in the park.
That said, I am inspired by this, a project based around one of the quietest places on earth, as featured in this NY Times article.
Leadership starts with leading self. Take a moment to consider where you find time for solitude, to switch off the monkey mind, turn off the chatter, create clarity, find silence.
One was that while yes, we can find near absolute silence by heading out into the wilderness, silence is available to us at any time, in any place. The key is to still our mind.
There are many ways to do this, and each of us may have our own method. For me, sometimes it is in getting into a rhythm of doing easy and relatively “mindless” tasks that slow down the mental chatter and create space. I can then often connect in a “flow” and thoughts “join up” for me as if from nowhere if I simply go for a walk, stop and have a cup of tea, or even listen to music.
Silence can open up creativity, innovation, and simply being in the present. (more…)