When coaching a client, I am not there to advise them, I am there to listen.
Recently I took a pause from daily posting, instinctively choosing to pause to create space to consider whether to change anything I am doing around my writing. I wrote a few posts about this as well as seeking input from regular readers, before deciding to recommence daily posting, as I wrote about in: “Doing nothing is not an option” just two days ago.
One of the responses I received around this thought process was from a dear and (very) wise friend, Bruce Peters (if you would like an insight into Bruce and into our conversations, he came on #WhatComesNextLive a while back, episode here). Bruce simply asked for me to consider this from Rilke:
No one can advise or help you — no one. There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart.
This is indeed highly relevant to any of us who write. Beyond this, though, this goes to the heart of the coaching mindset, the belief that the answers sit within the client.
In the purest sense, when coaching a client, I am there to listen and to help them draw out their own answers. I am not there to advise them, I am there to listen.
One other element of coaching to muse upon and share here is that in order to help a client go into themself and find the answers, I have to believe in them and believe that they have the answers within.
My work as a coach is simple, then. To listen deeply and with belief in the client. From that, all else flows.
(If you would like to learn more and perhaps talk about this with me, I love connecting with new people and talking, you can do that by booking a video call on my site in moments)