Over the weekend, a dear friend messaged me:
Made you some chicken thyme ginseng soup stock. Are you in tomorrow morning for a visit?
How lovely. They then came by the next day with their lovely gift (it will flavour a risotto beautifully this week!) and stayed to chat, as well as listen first, then share some of their wisdom around areas relevant to the physical and mental stresses of my health journey as they may impact me and those around me over the next four or so months I continue with chemo.
As an example, one thing they shared was to show me one of the movements in Dragon and Tiger Qigong. This is something I can now do each day as a simple and grounding exercise, particularly on days when I may not feel to leave the house to walk or otherwise get my body moving.
In short, being brought chicken stock was a gift of abundance and friendship for which I am most grateful.
As a more general thought around offering support to others. Do you ask “let me know if there is anything I can do?”, or do you say “may I do x for you?”, and then suggest a date and time for that? In my experience around my health journey, the former, whilst it does feel generous of spirit (and is always appreciated, as it means the other person is thinking of me) is less useful that a specific and thoughtful suggestion and then an ask of when to do it.
As an example in a work environment construct, if you see a team member at work struggling, instead of saying “let me know if there is anything you can do”, what if you say “can I sit with you for an hour to help you with one or two key areas you are finding most challenging? How about tomorrow at 10 am?”.
When someone is having a difficult time, when you make it easy for them to accept specific support, it is wonderful.
Bring chicken stock.