Around a year ago I wrote a post called: “Self-Knowledge – 12 levels of friendship” (reproduced below). Due to the wonders of the internet, somehow in the last month or so it has become one of the most read of the over 1500 posts on this site. Perhaps more of us are considering the importance of not only friendship but also the depth of our friendships.
I’m somewhat introverted (it may surprise some of you, but I am, in my own way), so have always believed in quality over quantity in terms of friendships, so I love this pyramid as a thought piece, particularly resonating with me now after my last months.
As I have written about before since recommencing daily writing a few weeks after a six-week break with my cancer surgery, a key context for me is GRATITUDE. I’ve been particularly grateful for the many friends and family from around the world, of the number of people (see chart below) who are “level 5” or above. It has also concentrated my mind on the importance of the friends at the levels further up that pyramid, and for me, my particular gratitude goes out today to those are levels 8-10 in my own friendship pyramid. You know who you are and what you mean to me.
A thought for you then, am sure you are clear on your 11 and 12 friends, but how about you write down a list of your level 8-10 friends and send them a note to let them know what they mean to you?
The earlier post, reproduced to share the full table, highlighting levels 8 through 10:
Self-Knowledge – 12 levels of friendship
I loved a recent tweet from Taariq Ismail, which I’ve cut and paste here. He begins:
In Arabic, there are 12 levels of friendship. Most of our ‘friends’ are level 5 or below, and many of us don’t have a single level 12 friend
Here are the levels:
- Zameel – someone you have a nodding acquaintance with
- Jalees – someone you’re comfortable sitting with for a period of time
- Sameer – you have good conversation with them
- Nadeem – a drinking companion (just tea) that you might call when you’re free
- Sahib – someone who’s concerned for your wellbeing
- Rafeeq – someone you can depend upon. You’d probably go on holiday with them
- Sadeeq – a true friend, someone who doesn’t befriend you for an ulterior motive
- Khaleel – an intimate friend, someone whose presence makes you happy
- Anees – someone with whom you’re really comfortable and familiar
- Najiyy – a confidant, someone you trust deeply
- Safiyy – your best friend, someone you’ve chosen over other friends
- Qareen – someone who’s inseparable from you. You know how they think (and vice versa)
It has me thinking of the level my friendships are at. And you?