It is not what you transmit, it is what others receive

I recently moved to an area where several hundred homes are governed by a management company. One of the rules governing each of us as owners is: “nothing shall be done or suffered on the premises which shall be or grow to be an annoyance”. Well, something I did recently in fixing up my new place lead me to be reported to the management company by another owner.

I was baffled as to how what I had done could have annoyed anyone. Being reported didn’t feel fair to me, and fair is my core value, so this got me into looking into this. the first thing I found was that the legal covenants under which I and other owners are bound contain a core statement: “nothing shall be done or suffered on the premises which shall be or grow to be an annoyance”.

I then, again driven by a feeling of what is, and is not, “fair”, looked into this common covenant around property and found more current case law which clarifies annoyance to where: “reasonable people would be annoyed and/or aggrieved”.

Suffice to say, I am now in a position where I may choose to argue that no reasonable person could have been annoyed or aggrieved. That said, I am reminded of an adage I was taught when focussing on self-responsibility in my own personal development:

“It is not what you transmit, it is what others receive“

When we take that on board, we can a) more clearly put ourselves in the position to understand where others are coming from, and b) if that means that we owe them an apology and/or to take remedial action, that can then come from a genuine and authentic place of understanding and empathy. So, in my case, before I go any further, I will seek to understand what it is that others have received as “annoying” before going any further.

That’s all for today, and yes, taking a broader sense of meaning from a tiny property dispute 😉