Today a story about the power of not simply believing in people, but actually telling people you believe in them.
I constantly am in awe at the difference this can make.
People can grow so much in their confidence to act once you have first checked in on their knowledge and readiness and then, from a place of experience and credibility, told them you believe in them.
As I write this point I am in Cayman for the week and the day I arrived I refereed a swim meet. Today a story from that experience around the power of belief and sharing that you believe in someone.
When knowledge is not enough for one to take action
Swim officials are there to ensure fairness, that all swimmers swim according to the rules for each stroke they swim. If they don’t, if there is an infraction of the rules, the officials take action by writing up a disqualification slip. The referee then validates that and the swimmer is then disqualified from their race, so maintaining the integrity of the swim meet and fairness for all swimmers.
It is as simple as that, but sometimes a clear infraction is not written up by an official. Why might that be? The rules of swimming are reasonably simple, so officials can, with knowledge of the rules and a little experience, readily judge whether a swimmer has swum fairly or has broken the rules.
Now, as most infractions are quite clear to see, experienced officials on deck can not only quickly identify and write up an infraction, but also often observe infractions in areas of the pool other officials have as their jurisdiction, as well noticing when those officials are not writing up those clear infractions.
So. at the latest swim meet it was clear to myself and another very experienced official that one or two of the newer officials were not writing up clear infractions.
Why would they make such errors of omission?
These officials certainly have been trained and have the knowledge of the rules and how to visually identify an infraction, in addition to which the printed disqualification slips are an effective aide-memoire to classify the infraction they witnessed.
Still, sometimes knowledge is not enough, sometimes we need more than knowledge for us to act.
Belief brings confidence
In addition to knowledge, we also need confidence in order to take action.
Sometimes we can feel confident in ourselves, but newer swim officials sometimes need a mentor figure to check in with them, coach them around their knowledge of the rules and what they saw.
Now, how that experience official does this is also key. I’ve seen experienced officials belittle the newer officials in their words, body language and energy, which (I’d say) is guaranteed to reduce their confidence further. However, if one mentors someone from a place of supporting their knowledge and understanding, and with an energy and with words expressing belief in them, they can grow in confidence to act.
Once someone is so supported they are much more likely to act, in this case, to write up infractions with a disqualification slip, but allow me to add one more tip.
Telling someone you believe in them
I’m somewhat repeating myself here, but this bears repetition.
As a mentor, manager, coach, once you have become clear that the person has the necessary knowledge and resources in order to take the required action, then do one more thing.
Tell them you believe in them.
As simple as that, tell them they can do it, that you trust them, that they are ready. This can be done expressly or inferred with subtlety, but please remember to clearly communicate your belief in them!
Note that this is not empty cheerleading, this is informed affirmation having talked through with them their knowledge and understanding.
Going back to the swim meet, once the more experienced officials took a little time with each of the newer officials during the meet itself, for the rest of the swim meet they didn’t miss a thing, they caught every infraction and wrote up the disqualification slips. As the referee, I could feel their quiet confidence as they handed over each slip, something that had been notably absent earlier on.
At the end of the meet, with supportive mentoring from two highly experienced officials who, in that, also made sure to tell them they believed in them, some newer officials grew in confidence and took a step forward on their journey in swim officiating.
As Gandhi expressed in the quote above, it all starts with belief.