What levels are your friendships at?

On January 3rd, I wrote “Do What Matters”, noting that as my Context to begin the year, and then giving these three focal points:

1. To consciously spend time with people that matter to me, in person wherever possible
2. To work only with people and businesses who have a clear intention, a clear purpose that is about more than just commercial returns.
3. To follow the maxim: “only do what only you can do“, which will mean being rigorous in turning down or delegating out or outsourcing anything else.

To the first point, I looked at my site stats the other day and saw that the most viewed blog post of late is one called: “Self-Knowledge – 12 Levels of Friendship“. I have no idea why this has suddenly leapt to the top of over 1800 posts. Perhaps in a typically crowded January more and more people are also looking at who they will choose to spend time with.

Anyway, it prompts me to review those 12 levels again (see graphic above too):

1. Zameel – someone you have a nodding acquaintance with
2. Jalees – someone you’re comfortable sitting with for a period of time
3. Sameer – you have good conversation with them
4. Nadeem – a drinking companion (just tea) that you might call when you’re free
5. Sahib – someone who’s concerned for your wellbeing
6. Rafeeq – someone you can depend upon. You’d probably go on holiday with them
7. Sadeeq – a true friend, someone who doesn’t befriend you for an ulterior motive
8. Khaleel – an intimate friend, someone whose presence makes you happy
9. Anees – someone with whom you’re really comfortable and familiar
10. Najiyy – a confidant, someone you trust deeply
11. Safiyy – your best friend, someone you’ve chosen over other friends
12. Qareen – someone who’s inseparable from you. You know how they think (and vice versa)

I do love to meet new people and develop new friendships, and at the same time, among those that I already know, under my context of “Do What Matters” and spending time with those that matter to me, this is a good reminder as to where we place our friends on that Friendship Pyramid. As we get higher up the pyramid we each have fewer and fewer friends at each level.

Know that if I already know you and seek to spend time together this year, you are already in the top half of this pyramid x