Today I had a lesson in patience.
Over the weekend I set a bike up on my indoor trainer, planning to start riding again (gently) today. As my first few days on chemo tablets had gone by with nothing but a slightly fragile feeling in my insides (the drugs going to work, I felt), I thought to myself “right, now I can start to exercise a little”.
This morning, though, I woke up feeling a bit queasy. Knowing I have to keep to an “every twelve hours” schedule on taking my tablets, plus that I have to have a decent amount to eat prior, it was not easy to get my breakfast down while feeling queasy. It took me nearly an hour to gradually drink my milkshake and eat one slice of toast, but I could then feel myself feeling a bit better and then took my tablets. I now feel ok, just tired, so will rest much of today.
Today is simply a reminder for me each day that tomorrow may not be like today. This is particularly so when on a regimen of strong chemo drugs, and also for life in general. We can plan ahead, yet it is also important to be aware that sometimes things may change unexpectedly and we then must respond to whatever happens. Sometimes we can “push through” with whatever we had planned, sometimes we must accept and adapt. Today I won’t be riding the bike, I’ll be mostly lying down resting.