“I only do what I want to do”
As we start 2022, I’m seeing more and more people talk about JOMO (the Joy Of Missing Out), as opposed to FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). I consider myself an expert at JOMO, having been a practitioner for many years (ha!). In more recent times, I’ve evolved to use the phrase: “I only do what I want to do”.
Let me explain why I now use this phrase, which some could consider selfish in a negative way, but I see as highly positive.
You see, I left Cayman around five years ago and moved to London in the UK, where I found some of the social conventions quite odd. Specifically, when one offers to do something with or for someone else, the other person often responds along the lines of: “oh, you don’t have to”. As an example, I used to live near Clapham Junction station and took a train from there into the centre of London most days. There are steps up to the railway platforms and almost every day I’d see someone struggle with a suitcase up the steps. I’d typically then offer to carry it up the stairs for them (with their permission of course) to make their life just that little bit easier. Most would nod or say thanks, some would, though, say something like “you don’t have to”. It is an odd convention (to me) to turn down a genuine offer to help by using this somewhat dismissive phrase.
Looking at this broadly, there are, of course, many times when we do things we don’t want to do, but hopefully, as we go through life we can become clearer and clearer on what we want to do rather than what we have to do, whether that is simply to get by in the day-to-day or out of a sense of obligation etc.
At a professional level, I love to listen to people and to see where I can add value to them. Sometimes I offer to do that and the response is with the sentiment of “oh, you don’t have to”, expressed something like: “I know your time is valuable, I couldn’t possibly ask you to do that”. Over time, rather than explain in detail, I now simply say “I only do things I want to do”, then “I’d love to help” etc. This cuts through quickly and they accept the offer of support.
Moving to a personal level, and back to the idea of “JOMO”, if I am invited to do something with someone, if I accept, that person can be clear that I absolutely want to do it, whether that is to run an errand for or with them, to go out to the theatre, to attend a gathering of friends.
If you know someone who is similarly minded to me, know that when they say “Yes” to something, that then means they are wholehearted with that “Yes”. From this, I trust you can see that someone who lives by “I only do what I want to do” is someone doing something with or for you with clear and positive intention at all times.