“I think it’s interest and care. I’m interested in whoever I’m speaking to. I care.”
Keanu Reeves, on being asked what qualities define a good listener
This morning I read a wonderful interview of Keanu Reeves by Tom Lamont for The Observer. What leapt off the page for me was Tom’s own interest, care and listening deeply to what Keanu was saying and what he is all about. as in the full passage ending in the memorable quote above:
“he is a listener first, a talker second, and I recognise in him some of the tricks of the passive conversationalist. He is unsqueamish about letting a silence linger. After statements, he sometimes repeats them to himself in an undertone, as though revisiting the words for possible flaws. Whenever he is asked a question he hasn’t heard before he tends to look into the distance and think for a while before giving a short, firm, well-formed answer.
When I ask him what qualities define a good listener, Reeves stays motionless for so long I assume our Zoom connection has failed. Then he answers: “I think it’s interest and care. I’m interested in whoever I’m speaking to. I care.”
When I read that passage, my thoughts leapt back to my most recent #WhatComesNextLive conversation, with Siobhan Fitzpatrick of The Networking Hub. At 3:35 into the conversation I paused, then asked Siobhan “and what does networking mean to you?”. Her face immediately lit up even more than her usual bright smile as she said “Curiosity!” then repeated the word for emphasis. This then created a rich seam of conversation to mine, including Siobhan later noting the well-known thought for conversation of “be interested rather than interesting”, one that Tom Lamont absolutely modelled in his interview with Keanu Reeves. Later in the conversation, I then shared a similar thought I had been taught by a mentor, that “when you are interested, everyone is interesting”.
So, in summary, Keanu notes that what makes a good listener is interest and care, to which Siobhan and I would simply add one word. Curiosity.
(follow the white rabbit here for more posts on curiosity)
In closing, I, like Tom Lamont, am a huge fan of the original Matrix movie. In his interview, he noted he would likely stream the new one on his laptop (covid etc). I too won’t be going to a movie theatre when it is released, but I will for sure put it on the “big TV” with the sound turned right up!