This week I turned 56. Didn’t feel like a “biggie”. Three days later, though, (yesterday) my youngest son turned 18. This feels far more significant, both in the milestone that is for him, but also it struck me how much has happened, how much has changed for and within me in the past 18 years. Looking back from my current vantage point, I had then, at the age of 38, and taking the thoughts of David Brooks (from his book The Second Mountain), climbed the “first mountain”, I “had it made”. Really? To be honest, there are major parts of that “young man” (as 38 now seems to me) that I barely recognise, it has been quite the journey since.
I’m writing today, though, not to reflect on my own journey, but to recognise how much we learn over periods of time and, for those of us with more years, to be kind, gentle and patient with those far earlier on their own journey. Let me own that, for ME to be kind, gentle and patient with those earlier on their journey.
In my sphere of influence, the most important humans to be are my three sons at 18, 24, and 27. Beyond that, though, I am in a mentor/coach/role model position with people in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s. Thinking of those in their 20s and 30s, I support a number of people who are quite brilliant and with amazing potential.
I’m writing this today to develop my thoughts and to anchor myself in recognition that, even for the most brilliant younger person, they literally only have a few years of life experience around leadership, around people, around empathy and understanding. Tool, skills, insights that can take decades to learn, grown and evolve cannot come without patience and, literally, time.
So, should you read this, know that my intention is to focus even more than I already have on allying empathy and understanding to patience and kindness in supporting others on the journey. I also encourage you to recognise some skills can only come with time, so please also be patient as you support those younger than yourself, whether your children or those you lead in business.