Mind the awareness gap

I sit here early on a Sunday morning writing this, then will steel myself to visit the emergency room at my local major London hospital.

I like to think of myself as a pretty aware person in different ways, but over the last decade, this is now the third time my body has had to tell me that I’m not listening to it, so my physical awareness is a gap for me.

The first was in 2010, when my body “crashed” after organising a pro cycling camp in Cayman. I was having such a great time I didn’t pay attention to signs that I was physically stressing myself. Ultimately all I needed was some enforced rest. Ironically the post I wrote about that camp was called: “How far is it acceptable to push?“

The next was in 2018, when I’d been walking tremendous distances in London over the summer and kept doing it even when my achilles tendon got badly aggravated. Ultimately that took a year or so to address, thanks to learning from and treatment by a Feldenkrais master, the legacy of which is much greater awareness around my movement.

This time I have been really focussed on my work through the lockdown and simply haven’t been moving much, often putting in many hours in a chair on Zoom, then not making the time to go out and walk.

So, over the last week I’ve had a leg pain that feels very different to a muscle pull. As the GP I spoke to on the phone has a concern around it, this morning I will follow his instructions and visit the Emergency room for tests.

One of these days I will learn that my own awareness gap tends to be that I ignore any physical stresses on my body when I’m enjoying what I’m doing (so sometimes push too hard with that to do more!)!

We all have gaps, what might yours be?