Coaching – levels of listening

Recently I had the pleasure of spending an evening with a group of experienced coaches to explore and share learnings and experiences. As it was the first time this group had met together, understandably it took a little time for the conversation to evolve and deepen.

As the level of conversation deepened, we moved beyond talking about models, methods, frameworks, techniques and into the “what happens beyond” levels of coaching.

Listening for words, tone of voice, body language

Yes, a coach listens to the words being spoken, as well as tone of voice and body language, as famously studied in what is known as the “7%-38%-55% Rule” that I wrote about here. Simply put, where our communications across those three areas are aligned, nothing to note, but where they are not, only 7% of what we communicate comes from our words.

As an aside, for a fun and somewhat scientific look at a related element to this, watch season one of the show “Lie to Me”, the technical consultant (Paul Ekman) on which series is one of the world’s leading experts on micro-expressions as a form of spotting when someone is lying (consciously or subconsciously, as theses can’t be hidden!).

So, all coaches who are fully present to their clients are listening beyond words, so what is a level beyond that?

Listening for Energy

In a blog from about a year ago, I wrote about “Listening for Energy“, which goes into this in some detail.

To simplify this though, once a coach becomes deeply practised at listening at multiple levels, the next level is to listen beyond those levels. In order to do so, the coach must listen and at the same time clear their mind of any thoughts that could stem from listening.

With a totally clear mind, it is then possible to truly pick up on the energy “at source” that is within the individual. Once that happens, the perfect question or observation comes forth totally unbidden.

This may take some practice and trust from a coach to both trust that process and trust themselves, yet in my experience, it is the essence of coaching in a way that is truly transformational for the client.

Mentoring offer for a coach to take their listening to a new level

A thought and offer.

If you are a coach in the London area (as this would be face to face) with at least one or two years of experience and who is interested in being mentored to further develop your coaching, I feel energised in writing today’s post to take on one more mentee.