In 1989, when I was 24, I moved to the Cayman Islands. Sending faxes and making phones calls was still eye-wateringly expensive, so I sent aerogrammes, short, handwritten letters, to stay in touch with family and friends.
These days the art of a handwritten letter or even note seems very rare, so today a reflection both on the power of receiving a handwritten thank you note, as well as the perhaps surprising power this has for the giver.
Receiving – ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
When I was young my mother always taught and told me to write thank you notes whenever I received a gift. As we moved into electronic communications, I have to admit that I got out of this habit.
However, I do have one family member who always makes a point of taking time to write truly thoughtful handwritten thank you notes and, yes, sending them by mail. Recently they sent me just such a card for a book I gave them for Christmas.
I realised that I always keep those cards from them. I first keep them on display on my desk for some time as they are so lovely to receive, then I never throw them away, I keep them all.
It is, indeed, special to receive a handwritten thank you.
It is always very powerful to be acknowledged, always remember you have the ability to do that for another.
Now, in leadership, not only do I encourage you to do this, but also do it at unexpected times. Perhaps send someone a thank you for something they think nobody noticed, so making the acknowledgement even more powerful.
Giving – GRATITUDE
So, we have all received acknowledgment, been thanked for a gift we have given or something we have done. We understand the power of this for us as the “Receiver”.
However, we often underestimated the power of being the “Giver” of the thank you.
Recently I wrote: “Happiness and Gratitude“, featuring the exquisite TED talk of David Steindl-Rast making the point that if we choose to be grateful we become happier.
Last week I then found myself considering the impact of our thoughts on our body chemistry and our body chemistry on our thoughts. I then went to a spin class and the instructor encouraged us to be grateful, reminding us that being grateful releases the hormone oxytocin, which then calms us, reducing stress.
The next day a client who was feeling really stressed called me to check in. I felt to share the thoughts around gratitude and body chemistry, (as well as that post with the TED talk). Rather than look to dive into problem-solving as to the specifics of what was stressing the client, we simply looked at how they could shift more quickly. The answer was gratitude.
So, now imagine the power for you as an individual of acting taking time to write thank you cards by hand. It is a conscious act, to take time out, to be thoughtful, then to write, then mail the note. Try it, you will feel grateful, you will feel a shift in your body from this.
I know leaders who actually book time into their diary to write handwritten thank you notes each week. They plan this time (often as short as thirty minutes) at times when they know they may feel stressed, knowing that not only will the recipients of the cards feel good when they are acknowledged, but the person writing them has managed their own energy by taking time to be grateful.
Last thought. Imagine the power of doing this at scale in an organisation?